Hello Suzanne,
I took a Whataburger Junior over to Mervil's today and stayed about two hours, eating with him, talking and watching part of a WWII dvd he had on his bedroom TV set. He looked neat and clean, and seemed pretty happy. It was good to see him.
He told me he didn't especially like the place and hinted that it was inexpensive. (So it might be a good idea to tell him how much it really costs.)
Nonetheless, he seemed to be making himself at home. He talked about how Eva's younger sister and he got into a bit of a tiff right off the bat. The sister was telling him off about something, and Mervil smiled as he told me that Eva had told the sister she couldn't talk to Mervil like that. The sister apologized to him, he said. AND he said he and the sister have gotten along fine since then. He realized it was just that they didn't know each other at the beginning. So, I was encouraged that Mervil could see how things had improved, and he could have an effect.
His little TV in the bedroom is not hooked up for television (even though I could see a Comcast cable outlet). I asked Eva about it, and she said that a box should come Monday that will enable Mervil to turn the TV on and off AND change channels with just one remote. When that box comes, the TV will be hooked up so Mervil can watch the news or Law & Order (or whatever). The DVD player worked fine for us.
I asked Mervil how the food was, and he said not very good. He said it was simple and often repetitive (such as scrambled eggs frequently for breakfast and sandwiches frequently for lunch). I guess I was still encouraged that he wasn't really upset about the food. It was almost like he felt he had to be at least a little bit critical.
He did not ask me for anything from his house or for any other favors. He did say he missed going for coffee, and I told him we probably could next weekend go to Dunkin Donuts. He was happy about that. I told Eva I would probably come next Sunday to take Mervil to the doughnut shop.
Mervil seemed to be getting up and down from the couch and chair pretty well, and he walked me out to my car when I was getting ready to leave.
He did not say anything about being poisoned or anything like that. He said nothing that indicated he had any paranoia that I could tell about his surroundings.
I asked him if the people at the house could take him to doctor's appointments and things like that. Well, sometimes, he said, though sometimes planned trips didn't happen. He was supposed to get his hair cut, and for some reason it didn't happen. His hair did look longer than usual.
He also had asked the house people for another safety pin to hold up his trousers, and they said they would get one, but it hasn't happened yet. Mervil chuckled about Eva telling her husband off one time for not remembering everything at the store.
I asked him if he still woke up at 3 or 4 in the morning, and he said yes, he usually did --- 3 or 4 or 5 a.m. He said the house folks had gotten mad at him for talking too loudly at such an early hour, waking other people up. Again, it just seemed like a funny story to him, not a big deal.
I asked him if he talked to other residents of the house, and he said not really because they were "older," he said. (Oh, those old people.) They did seem quieter and more withdrawn than Mervil -- at least the ones I saw. One whose voice I heard had a voice so soft I doubt Mervil would be able to hear her very well.
Mervil was aware that you were planning to visit him in November, and he seemed content to be trying out the house for now and then talking with you when you come. He also mentioned that you were so much more reasonable on this most recent visit than in the past. I mentioned having talked to you when you answered the phone at his house, and I mentioned how worried you and I were about his continually falling at his house -- and somethings lying on the floor for hours. He told me he's stronger now and can get up and down and not fall so much. I said good.
Well, that's about all I can think of right now. The house looks like a good place to me, and Mervil seems satisfied if not enthusiastic at the moment. He had some idea that he might be moving again. Apparently Eva's husband gave him that idea. Then, Mervil said, Eva told him that was NOT the case. Knowing myself what it was like to be in intensive care for about 3 weeks one time, I know I got pretty strange ideas by the third week about what was and wasn't happening in the hospital -- so I would guess that as much "normal" contact with relatives and friends as he can get would help to keep misunderstandings of reality under control. That's just my opinion. It's, as you know, just hard not to have control over so many things in your life.
P.S. Mervil did say, too, that he doesn't miss all the cooking & dishwashing & cleaning. :-)
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